OK

As I'm sure my friends have become disinterested in this blog, I'm just going to use as a sort-of journal type of thing so I'm going to see how long this lasts:

Today's issue: Drunk Girls (yeah I know)


There everywhere on the weekend, to the pleasure of most guys whom are partying and probably pretty drunk as well so it's great for socialization right?

Not for me:


Every weekend, I put up with yelling, screaming, confused emotions, scratching, and in general, just unpleasant a lot of the time.

I'm not saying ALL GIRLS act this way, pointing out that in the beginning of the night, most of them are pretty normal, but what happens a couple of hours into a party? What other than pure drama....

Look, you came to a party, and the point of a party is to have fun right? Not only are you ruining everyone else's good time, you're also kind of making yourself look kind of like a jackass, it's not a big deal you're in a fight with a boyfriend, there are others out there. Failed a midterm? It's called a final honey, you can make your grade up then.

I guess my main point is stop acting SO FUCKING ENTITLED, I don't care how hot you are, it does not warrant an excuse to yell at guys who are trying to calm you down or who ask you to leave a party, because honestly it's your own damn fault.

Sure there are guys at a party that will exasperate the situation, by making some comment at the girl while she's throwing a fucking embellishment of a temper-tantrum (I'm guilty of it occasionally). Guess what? You're already making a scene and in social settings, being a meltdown of a human is only going to have people that follow suit, and there's no one to blame for someone being an asshole to you ladies, other than yourself for starting the whole damn situation in the first place.

So in short ladies and gentlemen, mostly you ladies, learn to fucking drink so I (or any decent guy out there) have to hear about how hard the lecture quiz in oceanography was and how the only remedy for it is ten shots in ten minutes. I, along with other guys, or yourself, don't need to waste our time on this bullshit.

You're at a party, have some fucking fun, enjoy your friends, and taking your own time, as well as your gal pals', is selfish and unneeded.

DAA

Wasted Night

What was at first a potentially fun looking night turned into one of the "brown-outs pre-game too hard and go to sleep after stuffing your face" nights.

I woke up not really aware of what was going on. My ketchup (love it) was out and plates were smeared. I asked this couch surfer chick ,whom needs to shave her legs by the way, and she said after I got iced (apparently it's still a thing), I helped polish off a bottle of smirinoff vodka.

Then the browning out happened, she filled me in on me yelling about wanting a kebab and complaining how too far away it was when it was across the street. So I got one, came back, "wolfed" it down according to her, I went back and pulled a double kebab night header.

All said, oh well, I have a lot of time left in this place, still need to warm up to the club scene, so a night in was in the cards at some point. Hopefully tonight's better you punk bitches.

What A Night

Kind of a washout this weekend,


A lot of rain has been pouring down, which has been leading to a much-needed cool down, from before, thank fucking god.

On another note...


Most of the kids in my program went to Munich to go to Oktoberfest. I was being a little hesitant in making plans for this and it actually paid off in a way. Oktoberfest came to Barca!

The festival was something on my plan, and happened to be on my roomies' list anyways, so I rolled with them.

Beer on Beer on Beer...

You had to get tickets in order to get beers, and for the steins (1 liter cups), so naturally, I got three at once. Yeah, drinking was the goal.

It was pretty sick, everyone was friendly, a live band playing, and they let drunks do what they do best, BE OBNOXIOUS

It was pretty nice though, I was laughing my ass off at this dude on-stage whom was leading the whole inebriated crowd in clapping along to the music that was being played.

When we were leaving, I liked the fact no one really gave a shit if I took one of the glasses with me, it was good to have a souvenir from the day trip.

So after chilling for a few hours, we rolled out to the nightclub Opium. It was pretty tight...

Hot girls, mad booze, raining outside so it was even more crowded than usual, loud fucking music. I was dancing for a good couple of hours right next to the speakers. Needless to say, my hearing has not returned to the decent state that they were in before the night began.

Okay my readers, this was just an update so all 10 of you realized I'm not flaking on the blog, Hope you guys have been as drunk as I've been the past month and a half.

Barca Livin'

Alright, so this is for the good amount of people who stated their wishes for me to start blogging about my time in Barcelona, because Barstool is getting kind of old, or you guys need to get lives and get away from your computers, anyways, this is mostly just going to be for the tachi house because, well I want to keep you dudes in the loop.

Alright the first week can be described in one sentence; "Sleep is for the weak". I have some pretty crazy roommates to begin with, going out EVERY night since we got here, not getting any sleep.

Okay so the first night we went to this club called Opium, something everyone back on the East coast told me to hit up. Bumping place if you're wondering. Too bad though, getting kicked out happens to ruin your experience. If you are ever there, just a tip, do not ever yell at the big bouncers. They will be bigger than you, you're a foreigner to them, and poking them in the chest to get a point across is not the way to go.

Luckily the next night, we had some straight up sloots from the program that hooked us up. Got us out of the cover, and into VIP. The VIP area was attached to the DJ booth (Rusko was spinning  beeteedubs). The works were at my fingertips: Absolut shots and mixed drinks, and then Molly dips, straight up had everyone faded and tripping on the dance floor. That night was a topper so far.

The weekend was pretty quiet for your's truly, just caught up on the sleep, blazed a ton (shit's cheap here) But stay tuned when I hit up Razzimitazz this Friday, I'll make another post for that the next day while rallying.

Oh and there's a couple of bars called "Chapitos" bars (Chapitos= shots in Spanish or something) Its a bar that has a list of over 600 SHOTS ( I shit you people not, 600) for only 2 euro a pop. The best had to be the "Pulp-Fiction" and "Boy Scout". The Pulp Fiction was a straight shot of five different types of booze in one glass, then the bartender takes a giant plastic syringe and shoots it straight in your mouth (no homo, you get it if you've seen the movie), your throat burns for a good ten minutes afterwards, but shit fucks you up. Now for the Boy Scout, a true delicacy. It's a shot that has three different types of booze in it, and before you take it, the bartender lights the counter on fire with quick flammable spray, everyone in the group was given a marshmallow on a stick. Your roast the mallow in the fire until charred, then dip it in the shot to soak some alcohol up. Then you take the mallow out, take the shot and then chase it with the mallow. Sweet Shit. Posting again soon.

I REALLY LOVE THIS GUY

While I'm sitting here recovering and on happy pills, let's take a look at my favorite video probably of all-time on the world wide web. Enjoy!!

Guess Who's Back?!?!

What's up fuckers!!

Finally back in the world of casual blogging, and for the loyal following I have, whom I can all count on one hand sadly enough, welcome back to the sad sad world of living your lives vicariously through some random college douche bag's blog! (But seriously awesome, having people ask about it once in a while is trey cool)

Well my summer was completely boring, so nothing to report on that, but quite the interesting fall semester up here in the Northeast. I've seen tools get hit in the face, mad hookups, and of course, those embarrassing nights which all of you (meaning my boys) wish you could forget about, but the asshole that I am will not let you live down. Fags.

So who do we start out with? How about KARL?

Karl did not really get all that crazy this year, hmmmm...

I didn't believe that either ahaha, Karl had some crazy nights, dude pulled in fucking three chicks in one of them. Sadly for Karl, that is where the good news ends, as all of those lucky "females" as I will be generous enough to call them, were to describe it at best, seemed to be relatable to that of a Man Bear Pig. To top it off, the poor son of a bitch had one of them catch him in the act with his nightcap. Still, congratualtions Karl, you have proven that sticking your dick in anything with a hole will be what I like to refer to as from The Lion King as , "Slimy, yet satisfying."

Next up we have Julian, whom of course was being his usual self, getting shit faced on an array of various brown liquors. My favorite thing that happened to him was the fact that he throws his back out during sex, as well as hooking up with a bitch who looks like Xena, Warrior Princess, from that shit TV show we would watch on Saturday mornings and weeknights when we all were too scared of women anyways. Kudos Julian! Hopefully your next slampiece does not have a waist and shoe size that makes you look like Kate Moss bro.

As for your's truly, it was a pretty successful semester, not going to lie. For the most part, I behaved,a  couple of nights where I can not seem to remember many things. I love how on weekends I would walk up to girls and try to meet them, only to find out that I spit some ridiculously corny ass line on them the weekend before. The black out tally for this guy still remains rather insignificant which is all good, because when I want to remember the girl I'm with, you'll be sure that I will bro, no doubt.

I want to introduce to the crew, a new friend of mine I will call on this site, "Shortbus". Dude is the fucking man. He really likes getting fucked up, and he is a true wingman, letting you decide whom you would rather fuck out of a pair of girls any night of the week. First night we actually hung out, dude and I dominated the table at my boy Sweetness's house. There is one problem with Shortbus though, dude needs to think before he speaks, I mean taking his roommates pink eye eye drops and using them to try and avoid the infection, only to get it is pretty fucking stupid. He was also referred to as a butterface, by some girl who has no right in saying that, though it is hilarious none the less.

I just wanted to get back in the swing of things, and just in time for NYE right? I think I'm heading to NH to my boy Flaccid's house, if you remember him, and promise to have stories the week after, if I don't I pledge that I will make sure something crazy happens because of your's truly. Until next time loyal (insert single digit here) readers and fans. GFU

Does the following story help my boy get laid?

AH SUMMER IS HERE

Too bad someone forgot to tell mother nature, that bitch has been making it rain more than Lil Wayne at a strip club.

But there was a nice day. I left the Zoo on Thursday to come home, not an exciting first night back, just chilling with the rentals catching up and shit. But the next morning was a good start. I woke up to my boy from V-town in NJ hitting me up for a party he was having that night. Of course I was down to go, and get a little heavy with my boys from home no doubt.

So I got there mad early, before even the fratty lights were out, but I just got up with "Wildcat" as I will refer to him. Soon enough people just started pouring in, and before you knew, we had mad drinking on our hands.

The night went pretty smoothly with a wide range of women showing up. My girl LFM showed for a little cameo, we got shocked when we played ruit, but hey the best have to lose to keep them in check right? Next time we'll get them buddy. No lies.

Around midnight two, to put it nicely, wildebeasts, were talking to one of my old hockey buddies. Let's call him Orr (As in Bobby Orr, because the dude has the ego of a pro, just not the skills) Orr thinks he's the man, hitting on women and shit, but the women as I said were from the bottom of the barrel, hoodrats to be politically correct.

Eventually Orr starts challenging them to a game of ruit, and he made it interesting, to most of the guys there dismay. He got them to play strip ruit, like take a piece of clothing off everytime they make a cup.

I'm pretty much ignoring their game, to try and hold my liquor, so I'm screwing with the music with a girl I was talking to for a while ( no I did not get any, screw you she wouldn't have put out for you anyways). But when I turned around, I thought I was looking at a bakery, because all I saw were rolls. I lost my nerves and darted to the bathroom, and proceeded to puke everywhere. Not a good time, and Orr didn't even hook up with either of the shirtless girls anyways. SO i guess the moral of the story is, even if you drop your standards to the depths of hell, and you don't get laid, shame on you. Thanks Orr, I can't have vodka for at least a month.